She worshipped her friends. She always made her adjustments for them. Anyone who showed her sightest courtesy was enrolled in her hall of fame and received unbounded care and love. People liked her very easily. No she wasnt attractive. But she radiated a warmth that no one could ignore. But yes, while her friends were a breath of life for her, she wasnt the same for them. She was an angelic child. She was the 'cute' friend. Or so she thought.

 

Her hall of fame had its own share of critics. How often people questioned her on her extra show of care and affection. How often people told her it sounded all fake and stupid. How often people questioned if this goodness was genuine! How often they shattered her faith in friendship, including her own best friend who refused to give her friendship a chance.. but she embraced those incidences, took the negative in her stride and tried to learn from the criticisms. But never, even once, her respect and care for her friends, waivered in the process. For her, friendship was unbreakable, unshakable.

 

Inspite of all this, now, gradually, she finds herself alone. Inspite of this fight against the critics and circumstances, she finds her hope in the word 'friendship' diminishing like a dying star. She has friends, but no friends. She has friends, who will hang out whenever she calls, but she doesnt have friends who will call up simply to ask 'how are you?' she has friends who will share their joys and sorrows with her (and she loves it genuinely when they do that), but she doesnt known anyone who will take her stories as anyhting less than a burden. And she also has friends who have made her what she is, who have helped her out in her depression, but now, have gone their own way without giving her a chance to repay. She has reached a stage, where she is the needy. She begs for people to keep in touch, she has to beg to arrange meet-ups. And sometimes, most embarrasingly, she has to write threatening e-mails or smses and shout out their mistakes.. at the expense of hurting them, stupidifying herself and well,, acting silly.

 

She is tired now. And thinks she will quit doing all of this. Coz if everyone's being so distant, all of them can't be faulty. Either its a way of life, or it's just her. Either ways there's no solution. SHe lives, coming to terms with reality.

(as much as you're tempted to guess who the 'she' is, i request you not to jump to any conclusions. It's just a story.. just a blog! Let her be! :) )